Guilt and shame are among the two most common emotions that people often feel when they are in early recovery. So, if you are feeling either of those emotions, just know that they are perfectly normal. In active addiction, many of us did a lot of damage and hurt a lot of people (including ourselves). The good news is that, in recovery, we don’t need to live in guilt and shame anymore. However, we must do the work to make it so.
Recognizing Emotions in Recovery
Our emotions are dulled when we are in active addiction. We are often physically numb depending on the substance of choice, but our emotional and mental capacities are numbed as well. This is because addiction is cunning, baffling, and powerful, and the only thing addiction wants you to focus on is when you are going to get your next drink or drug.
However, many other extreme emotions are felt in active addiction. This is because addiction can make your mood swing incredibly fast. One moment, you may be sad and depressed, and the next moment, you may feel almost manic with excitement. This is because drugs and alcohol mess with our ability to regulate emotions. Now, this is especially true with guilt and shame.
How Guilt and Shame Impact Recovery
The reality of recovery is that we have to start getting real with ourselves. In recovery, we find out that our addiction is less about the substances that we put into our bodies and more about why we used those substances in the first place. This is often why many people in recovery rooms can be heard saying, “It’s not about the drinking; it’s about the thinking.”
When we do start to get real, we soon find ourselves getting real uncomfortable. This is because we are starting to feel real emotions again. These emotions are often related to the damage we did while in active addiction. This is where guilt and shame come in.
However, it is also important to separate guilt and shame, as they are often linked but are not the same emotion. According to PLoS ONE, “While shame and guilt are often mentioned together, substantial research indicates that they are distinct emotions related to different attributions and behavioral responses. Negative self-conscious emotions, including shame and guilt, result from the appraisal of how an experience pertains to the self in relation to others. Shame is often conceptualized as a negative evaluation of oneself (e.g., ‘I am less valuable than others’), while guilt is often conceptualized as a negative evaluation of one’s behavior (e.g., ‘I have behaved poorly compared to others’).”
Avoiding Guilt and Shame in Recovery
It is critical to avoid guilt and shame in recovery because these emotions can ultimately lead to a relapse. According to Frontiers in Psychiatry, “A study found a positive association between shame and guilt activation in alcohol dependence. The author claimed that people with substance use disorder (SUD) reported a higher level of guilt than those who didn’t use drugs. Additionally, “Shame can be a barrier to recovery from the treatment of addictive behaviors,” and “Shame predicts a tendency to relapse, the severity of relapse, and a decline in mental and physical health.”The best way to avoid guilt and shame in recovery is to work with other people also in recovery. These are the people that can bring about hope and reliability to those who are struggling. If you are feeling guilt and shame, it is important to tell another person about it. Holding it in is only going to make matters worse. Also, if guilt and shame are predictors of a relapse, then working with others is a predictor of long-term recovery.
Working with others to avoid guilt and shame and potential relapse is so important that they even named a chapter after it in the primary text of 12-Step recovery (commonly referred to as the Big Book). The chapter states, “Practical experience shows that nothing will so much ensure immunity from drinking [and using] as intensive work with other [people in recovery]. It works when other activities fail… You can help when no one else can.” Yes, it is important to replace guilt and shame with relationships and fellowship.
Long-Term Success With The Phoenix Recovery Center
Here at The Phoenix Recovery Center, we know that guilt and shame can hinder one’s recovery. That is why we focus on emotional growth in all of our recovery plans. We also ensure that all of our recovery plans are individualized and focus on the future for long-term success.
If you are struggling with guilt and shame, please know that you don’t have to feel that way anymore. There is a new life waiting out there. You deserve it! We can help.
Guilt and shame play complex roles in addiction recovery. These emotions can hinder healing and long-term success. However, there are strategies for addressing them and pathways to cultivate self-compassion during the recovery journey. Many effective means, methods, and modalities can help one recover from guilt and shame, as well as other negative emotions. If you feel like you or a loved one is struggling with issues of addiction, mental illness, or both, we can help get you on the right road to recovery. You don’t have to go through this process alone. To begin your healing journey complete this short form or call The Phoenix Recovery Center at (801) 438-3185.
